Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
