Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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