The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
