Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
