This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
