Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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