real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The best revenge is premature balding
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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