Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
