last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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