I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize