he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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