I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
