he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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