Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
