It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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