Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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