okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
