You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
