y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
