wat bout pragnant strippers??
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there was a trapeze. enough said
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
