What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Your dad touched me again.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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