Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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