I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize