its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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