We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
