in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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