watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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