he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
