If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
then he tried to convert me to islam
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
