oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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