Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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