He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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