some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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