I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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