Swine flu. Run for my life!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I party with great urgency now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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