...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
