Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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