I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize