best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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