I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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