I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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