Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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