I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize