Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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