The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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