Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
