What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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