HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
