'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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