I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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