We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
