yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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