Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
