She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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