Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
NoShamevember. You game?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
