Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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