I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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