On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
