i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
