dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's never too late to be topless.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
