i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
