talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
