i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I am naked and annoyed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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