I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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