At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
